Forgiveness: Part 2
By doing the work of truth and authenticity, we are walking ourselves toward peace. Let’s keep going and gathering more friends in light and connection. The world needs our love more than ever before. One way we can share our love is to forgive those who have tried to take it.
We forgive so that we have the freedom to love others.
Over the last few months, I have arrived at a new feeling about forgiveness. I used to think that forgiveness was about releasing an abusive perpetrator (person, partner, parent) from their responsibility for causing pain to another. Now, I see forgiveness as releasing yourself from the burden of carrying the perpetrator’s own pain.
Human beings are born to carry love and give love. This is our true nature. We are not born to carry others’ pain or transfer pain on to others.
It is my firm belief now that anyone who can take another person’s sense of security for the sake of fulfilling their own is incapable of giving or receiving love. They “steal your love” (along with your joy, respect and dignity) to fill a void. But the only thing they really do is transfer their pain on to you.
I have learned that the truth about humans is that we tend to carry other’s pain because we’re naturally loving beings (and often “the other” is someone we know). Another more powerful truth is that, at some point, the burden of the other’s pain becomes too heavy to carry. You must put it down to survive. Also, it is true that no-one can steal your love. Ever. Your love is your light. Your everlasting soul. It is always present (even if it may be hiding temporarily in the shadows of your anger or fear).
Re-imagine the meaning of forgiveness
I’d love to invite you to join me in re-imagining forgiveness as a coming out party:
YOU coming out of your shadows and stepping into your light.
YOU putting down the weight of someone else’s pain and coming out with the freedom to love again.
YOU breaking free from people, systems, and structures that are causing you pain and coming out with a renewed sense of strength and love for yourself.
End the war inside of you
Forgiveness ends the war between your ego (the refusal to “give in” to the pain or show your true feelings) and your soul (your source of love and healing). It is your gateway to personal freedom and inner peace. If you are ready to step into your light and speak truth to power, here are some ideas you may want to consider. Make it ceremonial by burning a candle, sending blessings of love to yourself and those who need it, and writing your forgiveness declarations in your journal:
- I forgive [name the perpetrator of your pain] for their limitations.
- I forgive [name the perpetrator of your pain] for taking my voice, my dignity, and my humanity to fill their own need for love and power.
- I forgive myself for hiding a part of my true nature in my shadow.
- I forgive myself for believing that the pain that I received was meant for me and that, on some level, I deserved it. I know that this is untrue. I know the pain was never mine to carry.
- I thank myself for having the courage to come out and share my light, love, and warmth with the world.
As I embrace this new way of forgiveness, I hold the “forgiveness ceremony” whenever I need a reminder to stay in my truth. I can already feel a shift toward peace happening inside myself.
When you forgive, you end dysfunctional relationships and unhealthy patterns. You break cycles of trauma and violence. You reclaim your voice and speak your truth. You declare that it is not your responsibility, purpose or role to carry other’s pain or to make others feel comfortable with your truth. You nurture your own spirit. You empower, energize and enlighten others to live in their truth. This is how we stay loving and free on the path to authenticity.
The path is not easy but it is life-giving and peace-making. Thank you for being here and walking with me. Next time, we’ll explore the topic of discernment.
Let’s journey together.